The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done
by IAmVulcanLady
Summary: A few months ago Max left Seattle. Will her past come back and haunt her?
1. The Decision

disclaimer: Dark Angel and all its character's DO NOT BELONG TO ME. I just made up this story. Besides, if you sue me you're not going to get anything, cause I will not part with my computer and I can't find anythink else in my room.  
  
sumarry: Max can't take the pressure of the virus and leaves  
  
author: DarkAngelEye  
  
Spoilers/timeframe: sometime after season 2  
  
rating: PG-13 (for swearing and stuff a little later on)  
  
section: Eyes Only  
  
A/N: please don't think that bad of it. its my first fanfic so it might suck. so be warned  
  
title: The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done (ch.1)  
  
I never really realized how much Logan and I went through until I look back on it. I guess I just took it all as it came. We circled each other for a year, and when we finally admitted our feelings for each other when I went to save Tinga and then a few days later to take down Manticore. But then I got caught. I eventually took down the hellhole I called home for the first nine years of my life, but not without some sacrifices. I lost my brother. The big brother you could always count on spoiling things. But he gave me his heart, and I am forever grateful for that.  
  
And now the virus bitch. I wish we had taken all that time a year ago. As Joshua says, "Max and Logan gettin' busy." How so much I wish that were true. I think of when I came back, he kissed me without a moment's hesitation. Because he knew it was truly me and that I hadn't been brainwashed. Now who could ask for a better guy? But he almost died because of me, and that I can't take. I can't stand being around him and not touching his scruffy beard or not being able to lean over his shoulder and see his "Eyes Only" work. All because we might touch, and I might kill him. And if he died I wouldn't be able to live myself.  
  
But now I can't take the tension any longer. I can't stand being around him and not touching him. I never relized how much we touched without me noticing. A brush here or there, our fingures touching as he would hand me something. And then when we got our twelve hours, only being able to use about one. That just kill sme inside. God it hurts! it hurts so bad that I am going to go away. I don't know where to. maybe I'll go to Canada. Zack always wanted me to go there. Except he wanted me to go with him. Or maybe I'll go to Florida. I've heard it's nice there and almost never rains. And it would be far away from the man I love, but can't love at the same time.  
  
I don't know how I'll tell Logan. When I first started thinking about this I thought about telling him face to face, but that would never work. He would talk me into not going, and the next thing you know I would be right back where I started. I couldn't handle that. Maybe I should just leave him a note. Yeah that's good, I'll leave him a note. But it will never be able to express how I feel about him.  
  
I almost backed out a few times. But now I'm really leaving. I going to Illinois, at least for now. I thought maybe I should go to Chicago, cause it would probably be a whole lot like Seattle. Except one thing is different. No Logan, No Original Cindy, or Sketchy, or other people that I am friends with. Ok you gotta stop thinking like that girl, I yell at myself as I feel doubts starting to rise. I am thinking, maybe I shouldn't leave. FUCK! Why can't I just make up my mind?? 


	2. Thinking

disclaimer: Dark Angel and all its character's DO NOT BELONG TO ME. I just made up this story. Besides, if you sue me you're not going to get anything, cause I will not part with my computer and I can't find anythink else in my room.  
  
sumarry: Max can't take the pressure of the virus and leaves  
  
Spoilers/timeframe: sometime after season 2  
  
rating: PG-13 (for swearing and stuff a little later on)  
  
  
  
ch 2  
  
I leave tonight. I am going over to Logan's, to see him for the last time. But of course, he doesn't know that. Maybe I should just leave here and now, without saying good-bye to Logan. It would be a whole hell of a lot easier.  
  
But I am riding over to Foggle Towers now. I have my bag with me, that way I can leave and by the time he figures out I'm gone I will be out of Seattle.  
  
So here I stand, at his door. I can't decide if I should pick the lock or knock or ring the doorbell. While I am deciding I press my ear up to the door. For some reason I think I might be able to make a decision that way.  
  
Soon I hear his exo-skeleton whirring as he gets up from the computer. Could never pull him away from his work. I think that is what makes me love him. Yes, love him. I could never admit it, at least not to his face. I did once in the car at the junkyard after Gossimer attcked, but I'm guessing he never heard me. But the fact that he loves what he does and never gives up makes me even more attracted to him.  
  
And it is then that I decide that I can't go in there and see him. I have to leave before he senses me out here. I take the note out of the pocket of my leather jacket. I quickly slip it a little under the door, enough so no one passing by will pick it up but just far enough out so that he won't notice it himself unless he comes and looks right down at the floor.  
  
It took me hours to write that letter. I would start one, get mad at myslef for writing this or writing that, and I'd crumple it up. I was emotionaly drained by the end of the night, or should I say morning. I worked until six, slept an hour, and then got ready for work. After work I officially quit. I think Normal was surprised. I mean he had treatened to fire us as many times as he has said "Bip, bip, bip."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
sorry it's so short guys but report cards comeout next week and I'm working hard not to get grounded for my bad grades. =) More soon. 


	3. Author's note

Author's Note: Hey thanks for reviewing: Catie Duncan, Natters, Escobar, hay25, and Phoenix Destiney. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon but I'm going down to Southern California for a week so it might be awhile. But thanx and keep reading!  
  
It's not the end!!!!! (just yet) 


	4. Leaving

A/N: I figured out I don't have to go anywhere for the next week. So here is ch. 3 and foru will hopefully be out soo, just depending on now much homework my mean teachers give me.  
  
disclaimer: Ok you know the drill. I don't own Dark Angel and probably never will although I wish I did. I am only obsessed with it and use my spare time writing fanfic and reviewing all my taped episodes.  
  
sumarry: Max can't take the pressure of the virus and leaves  
  
Spoilers/timeframe: sometime after season 2  
  
rating: PG-13 (for swearing and stuff a little later on)  
  
A/n2: This is the last one I swear! But thanks for everyone who reviewed. I might not post for another week cause my rents are dragging me to San Diego. But if I can I'll get out chapter 4 and 5 before then. =) oh yeah, and thanks for the suggestions, I'll keep them in mind as I write! =)  
  
A/N 3: ok disregard what I said in the fist sentence up there. But I swear this one is the absolute last a/n. Keep posting and if you think this fanfic sucks please do say so, but please make it constructive criticisim. BYE! =)  
  
  
  
ch. 3  
  
As I rode away from Foggle Towers, away form Logan, tears streaming down my face, I thought of the letter I wrote him. I had taken forever to write it, because every other attempt just couldn't express how I felt to him. And even now I think of things I should have put in there, but didn't. I mentally kick myself in the ass every time I think of one thing I should of told him. I keep replaying that letter over and over in my head –  
  
Dear Logan,  
  
Words alone can't express how I fell for you. And because I feel the way I do, I am leaving. I can't stand not being able to be near you, not being able to touch you. So, because I love you, I am letting you have a normal life. One without a fucked up girlfriend that you can't touch or you will die. Maybe now you can have a real girlfriend; one who isn't chased by some sort or government agency her entire life. But I will miss you forever. I might get in touch, I might not. Live your life to the fullest Logan. I love you.  
  
-Max  
  
I should have written more. I should have told him I was sorry for every single ounce of pain I had caused him over the past two years. Damn! I wish I were a normal girl who didn't have perfect DNA or hadn't been formulated in a lab. One without transgenics and government agencies on her tail. "Why couldn't I just be fuckin normal!!!!!!!" I screamed out into the night air, with tears now flowing freely down my face and dripping onto my jacket. Thank god no one was out on the streets now or they might call the insane asylum on me.  
  
So I rode off into the night, my hair flowing freely behind me, with my barcode for the world to see. But no one was out, so no one would see. And so I left Seattle, maybe for good. I hoped not, but I couldn't stand to see Logan anymore I were like this. I said my silent good-byes, as the city that I learned the most in disappeared behind me. 


	5. Getting Nowhere

disclaimer: Ok you know the drill. I don't own Dark Angel and probably never will although I wish I did. I am only obsessed with it and use my spare time writing fanfic and reviewing all my taped episodes.  
  
summary: Max can't take the pressure of the virus and leaves. M/L eventually  
  
Spoilers/timeframe: sometime after season 2.  
  
rating: PG-13 (for swearing and stuff a little later on)  
  
A/N: ok there are *minor, minor * spoilers in here for "Hello, Goodbye," but everyone already knows that Max breaks it off with Logan from the previews so its not that big of a deal.  
  
  
  
ch.4  
  
I traveled a week until I got to Chicago. I don't plan on staying here too long though. I'll just get attached and then I'll have to leave at some point and where will that leave me, just like it was in Seattle. Except here there's no man of my dreams who will die if I touch him.  
  
That was two weeks ago when I got here. I now have a small job at a diner. Not a lot of people come in here but just enough so I can get paid ever week. I also have a one-room apartment down the street. I couldn't share one because first of all, I didn't know anyone, and second of all, that would have reminded me too much of Original Cindy. I called her when I got here, just to tell her that I was all right. When I told her that I couldn't tell her where I was, she was really mad.  
  
  
  
"Girl where are you? We all been worried bout you," said Cindy.  
  
"Oh, I'm somewhere in this God forsaken country," I answered, hoping she wouldn't push it. No luck though.  
  
"Where exactly?" she practically demanded. "You've been avoiding all my questions with ones of your own and now you can't even tell me where you are?"  
  
"Well…" I began.  
  
"Well nothing girl. You up and leave with about… I don't know ten minutes of warning!" She exaggerated, "and now you can't even tell me where you are so I can write to you and call making sure that you're all good!"  
  
"Please O.C. don't push it anymore. I had to leave, and I can't tell you where I am because of safety reasons," I somewhat stretched the truth there; I just didn't want Logan finding out where I was.  
  
"Bullshit Max. You could tell where you were all you want, but you just don't want Logan findin out and coming and dragging your ass back home. And there are no safety reasons. Two months ago you killed that White dude and so there are no more in-safe reasons."  
  
  
  
She was right, but I wouldn't tell her that. This was July, and I had killed White in May. Who thought a simple gun would kill him. Of course it was about twenty gunshots all right to the heart and head, but go figure. I had no more "bad guys" in my life, except for the damn virus. I still hadn't figured out a cure for it, and neither had Logan. It was taking a toll on us, on our "relationship." Yeah, I had broken it off once, but after two weeks of not seeing him, I wanted him back.  
  
But now, I couldn't face him. I was a damn coward, as O.C. said later in our conversation when we drifted back to the fact that I had left without a good good-bye. I missed them, I missed them so much I wanted to go back, but I couldn't go back without seeing Logan. And if I saw Logan, then all I'd want would be to touch him and kiss him and so I wouldn't be able to go and see him. And then where would I be? I would be in the exact same position I am now, except for maybe I would be here or somewhere else a few weeks later. I FUCKIN HATE THAT DAMN VIRUS!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
Hey guys – no more posts until I get more reviews many reviews = happy author and more chapters 


	6. The Letter

disclaimer: Ok you know the drill. I don't own Dark Angel and probably never will although I wish I did. I am only obsessed with it and use my spare time writing fanfic and reviewing all my taped episodes.  
  
summary: Max can't take the pressure of the virus and leaves. M/L eventually  
  
Spoilers/timeframe: sometime after season 2.  
  
rating: PG-13  
  
AN:Just to clarify things: I really hate Ames White, (even though he is a bad guy and what would DA be without bad guys?) because he keeps trying to kill Max and all that shit. Ok so I took artistic license and killed him off. I know that the excuse of killing him with a gun is not very plausible, but I couldn't think of anything better at the time.  
  
AN2: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I tried to get these chapters out as fast as possible, but I had two softball games this weekend and also my teachers seriously don't think I have a life and keep piling on the work.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
ch. 5  
  
"Hey Maxie, how ya doing honey?" asked Sharon, another lady who works here at the diner.  
  
"Ok, I guess," I answered. I had been feeling down lately. I have lived here in Chicago for about a month now. I've been thinking about leaving, but I don't think I want to. There are some nice people here, and while they aren't O.C. or Sketchy, I've made some friends.  
  
"It doesn't look like you're ok," stated another one of the ladies that worked there, Jessica. "Does it have to do with that man of your's that you left behind?"  
  
I had told them about Logan. I didn't tell them that the whole reason why I left was because I could kill him. I told them that I had family problems, and that I had to leave. They bought the story, thankfully, and din't really ask anymore questions. When they asked, where you from? I answered that I came from San Fransisco. After that I evaded all questions after that by changing the subject, and they finally got the point and almost stopped asking them.  
  
"Yeah I guess it does. I miss him so much," I said  
  
"Then why don't you go back to him?" asked Jessica.  
  
"I told you, we had some family problems. I just couldn't take it anymore, so I left," I said it with such a tone that they got the idea and stopped asking me all the questions.  
  
I miss everyone a whole lot. I miss their jokes and everyone saying that me and Logan should have gotten together sooner. I really miss Joshua, I left him in Alec's care before I left. I think he was the only one who knew what I was doing before I said good-bye. I couldn't just let Joshua fend for himself so I had to tell someone about my plans so they would take care of him. And the only people who knew and cared about Joshua were Alec, O.C., and Logan. And I could only tell Alec. It almost killed me to leave Joshua, almost most of all, because he hadn't experienced the world and I think he counted on me.  
  
I wrote to O.C. though. And called her. I called Alec every once in awhile. That was really to check up on Joshua. I wrote a letter to Logan, too. But I haven't sent it yet. I don't know why. I have it addressed and postmarked and everything. But everytime I go to mail it I can't, and one time I almost ripped it up. But I didn't. Now it rests in my leather jacket pocket, creased from the many times I've taken it out and looked at it.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Ok, well anyway, Max, we're going to go out tonight if you want to join us," Said Jessica, in more attempts to make me smile and get me to go with them. They say I haven't smiled since I came here.  
  
"Nah, I don't think so. I'm not feeling all that great," I lied. "I'll just stay home tonight and rest."  
  
"Ok whatever, but you're missing a great time. One of these days me and Sharon are going to get ya to come with us. I don't think you've ever gotten drunk with us," she added, smiling a wide smile.  
  
"Sure, whatever you say, but I'm not going to go with you. Maybe some other time though," I said, though preety sure that that would never happen.  
  
"Ok, I know that look. You promise yet never come. Ok here's a deal. You mail that letter that you're always fiddling with, and we'll stop bothering you bout going clubbin with us," Sharon butt in.  
  
"Yeah, we know that letter is for your man back home," Jessica replied as I looked at them in horror.  
  
"How do you know bout that?" I demanded, wanting to know how in hell they could know that was for him.  
  
"Well, for starters, whenever you pick it out and fiddle with it you get that same look in your eyes as when we talk bout your man," stated Jessica with great confidence.  
  
"Fine," I gave in, "I'll mail it. But you have to promise never to bother me bout it again!" You see, I had no intention of actually mailing it. I would say that I did, but realy wouldn't. I couldn't send that letter to Logan, I just couldn't.  
  
"Great. Oh yeah, come with us," siad Sharon, who had a mischevious look in her eyes.  
  
"Ok, where are we going?" I asked as she practically dragged me out of the diner.  
  
"Well, to mail that letter, stupid. Where else would we be going? I mean, did you actually expect us to buy that bullshit when you gave in so easliy?"  
  
Ok so my plan wasn't working out. I could use my superhuman strength to overpower both of them, but for some reason I didn't. It was almost like I wanted to send that letter. We got to the mailbox at the end of the street, and Jessica and Sharon looked at it expectantly.  
  
"Well, aren't you going to put it in?" asked both of them at the same time.  
  
'Well, here goes nothing,' I thought as I dropped the letter in and let go of the handle. 'Get to Logan safely,' was my final thought as we walked back to the diner, ready for the dinner shift.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok, I personally didn't really like "Hello, Goodbye", so I didn't add anything of that going on in here. Yeah it was a great ep and all, but I just thought some of it was sort of bad. Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter. It might be awhile for the next one, because I am in the middle of this big report (big like don't graduate if I don't finish it big) and well, there is a turn in date for a huge part of it in a couple of days so I will be working on that[even though I'd rather be working on this story].  
  
Well, thanks for reading and if you like it, write a review. And if you don't you can write me a review to saying what you didn't like. 


	7. Love and Forgivness

**disclaimer: Ok you know the drill. I don't own Dark Angel and probably never will although I wish I did. I am only obsessed with it and use my spare time writing fanfic and reviewing all my taped episodes. **

summary: Max can't take the pressure of the virus and leaves. M/L eventually

Spoilers/timeframe: sometime after season 2. 

rating: PG-13

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

When I got home to my apartment today, I was in for a huge shock. There, in my mail, was a letter from Logan. I am so serious. I sent that letter almost two months ago, how could he have gotten a hold of me? I don't know how he sent it to me, because I didn't put a return address on it. Somehow he found out a way to reach me, which now scares the hell out of me. What am I going to do??

I then opened the letter, very slowly, kind of like someone would if they thought the letter contained a bomb. I unfolded a letter that looked almost as creased as the one I sent him. There were about five pages to it, all cramped with small writing and not having an inch of space left for anything. I also pulled out another letter than was very small and just had a few words on it. 

__

My Max – 

When I got your letter, I was ecstatic. I have been waiting to hear from you for months. I think if you read this letter it will explain everything. I love you Max, and I want you to come home. I don't care if there is the virus between us; I just want to be able to see you. I wrote this letter after I found your letter under my door, and have wanted to send it forever. I love you.

Love, Logan

I was speechless just from that letter. It meant he cared about me. After all I did to him, he still forgave and loved me. I couldn't believe it. I then looked at the other letter. Good thing I had the next day off, for I was going to read this letter over and over again. I sat down, right there on the hardwood floor, and read the letter where Logan told me how much he cared about me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ok, I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I've had a few HUGE projects the past couple of weeks and haven't been able to completely devote myself to this. The next chapter will be going up in the next week. I have to do a bit of background work for it (like watching my taped episodes) but I'm not complaining. I hope you all like the story review and please review! 

And any ideas on where this should go, you can e-mail me at darkangeleyes452@hotmail.com


	8. Logan's Letter

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disclaimer: Yes of course Dark Angel is mine. I decide what goes on in each episode and that is why the season is not as goo das the first season [ok they seriously need to get new writers] . Ok you know what? If I did own Dark Angel I wouldn't live in the most boring town on the face of the earth and only get $8 a week for allowance. And if anyone would sue me, they woun't get anything, so there is no point of that. And besides if I owned the show, Jensen Ackles and Michael Weatherly would walk around with no shirts on a whole lot of the time =D 

sumarry: Max can't take the pressure of the virus and leaves. M/L eventually. 

Spoilers/timeframe: sometime after (or during?) season 2. 

rating: PG-13

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Ok since some people wanted me to write the letter that Logan sent to Max, I'll do it. Since I said it was 4 pgs long, I'll do one chapter per page (I think). Just so people know it will be very mushy and very heart wrenching. So if your not into that stuff you can skip ahead and wait until I post the other chapters. I guess you could still understand everything if you didn't read. But if you are into M/L shipperness (as I am) than you definetly should read this. Ok well, then have fun reading. =D

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I sat down onto the floor, getting reading to read Logan's letter. I was just staring at it, not really sure what to do. I guess in a sense I am scared to read it. I am scared that he won't forgive me for what I have done to him, all the heartache and heartbreak. While I am contemplating everything that is going on in my head, my hands seem to take on their own mind. I suddenly find myself opening the letter, reading his script. I can spot a few places where the words run a bit. I guess he was crying when he wrote this. That makes me really sad, that I made him cry. Tears start falling down my face as I start reading his letter.

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(July 15th, 2020)

My dearest Max - 

I just found your letter under my door. I can't believe that you are leaving me. I guess you have already left for it is now 3 am. I couldn't sleep so I was walking around a bit, thinking of you. Than I found the letter as I was about to call you. I then called O.C.'s and your apartment to see if it were true. I could hear O.C. crying, so I guess you had already left. Why did you leave Max? I know your letter says that you wanted me to have a normal life, that I was free to have a normal girlfriend with you gone. But all I want is you. My life has been far from normal since you broke into my apartment about two years ago. And I have been glad every day since and I would never take back anything, except for us maybe not acting on our feelings sooner. I love you so much Max, and I hope you will come back soon. I will write these letters for your return. I know you will return, for I know you can't stay away from your family for a long time, and you said I was now your family. So is O.C., and Joshua, Alec, Sketchy-

I snorted at that. Yeah I guess you could call Sketchy my family, but the dude really needed to get some common sense. Yeah I guess he was part of my family now. Ok well, I could barely see the letter now, for I was crying so hard. I wiped my face with my sleeve, as to not get any tears on the letter. On Logan's letter.

__

- and so many more people. We all miss you, Max. 

Please come home soon. When you were back at Manticore for three months last yea, I was torn apart, for you were dead, or so I thought. But now, you are gone, and that hurts even more, because you left on your own will, and you are alive somewhere out there. I hurt all over my body, but the most in my heart. I want you back. I don't care if we have the virus in between us, we can eat togather and still play chess asnd all the things we use to do, except for not touching. I know it sounds hard, but we did it before, and we can do it again. If we play chess I'll even let you beat my ass so many times and I won't complain about you using your pwers on we mere mortals. Please come back home Max.

I love you Max. I eargerly wait your return. Please come home to all your friends and family soon. I will be waiting my love.

Love always,

Logan

That opened the floodgates. Logan wasn't mad at me, he just wanted me home. I wanted to go home, to him, but I couldn't. I would somehow touch him, and kill him, and he already had been in brush wih death three times because of it. This was all to hard emotional for me, to learn that he still cared about me after all that I did for him. 

I went to bed that night crying and thinking of Logan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Ok what do you guys think????Yeah I know it was short, but what can I say. Oh yeah, writer's block. I promise the next few will be longer k?But I need your guy's advice. Should I continue the letter? I will eargerly take suggestions. Just e-mail me at 

darkangeleyes452@hotmail.com

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Ok then who here liked last nights Dark Angel?? I did, except Max seemed a little out of character and Logan seemed a bit cold. Just so you know, I haven't taken any events from the past couple of eps in here, so the spoilers really end with "Hello, Goodybye."_I can't wait for next week's Dark Angel, and I hope I will post before the weekend is over with, but I'm not sure. I have 4 games in the next week so I am not completely sure. But I will post soon!_

Please.Please review. Remember, many reviews=happy author who posts very soon =D

-Lesley


	9. Another Letter From Logan

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disclaimer: yeah we all know it's not mine. So why do we need to say it? I don't have any money, cept for my allowance form last week that I'm saving up to get the Dark Angel soundtrack. So you see, anyway you are going to get money from me, James Cameron and whomever it is that co-created the show. They are gods for creating Dark Angel, and I owe them a lot of my happiness. =D

summary: Max runs away, what is going to happen to both of them. (I suck at summaries)

rating: PG - 13 (to be safe)

spoilers/timeframe: sometime after "Hello, Goodbye" with parts of "Love in Runes" imbedded in.

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Here is another letter. I will write more, but I am almost swamped right now, (4 softball games in 1 week lol). Ok, well, I didn't have many reviews for the last one, so I hope more ppl review it. I love to write this, even if it takes awhile to get it up. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I do take your suggestions. I hope you all like it, so enjoy! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE FINALE!!! But then it mean a whole summer with out Dark Angel,* **sob***. I really hope that it is renewed.

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I woke up in the middle of the night, still semi-exhausted from crying so much. I looked at the pile of letters next to me, and I grabbed them. I wanted to find out about Logan as much as possible. I hadn't seen him or heard form him on months, and I wanted to find out all about him as much as possible. I had a few pages left to go, and I could tell as he went on, the smaller his writing became. It was as if he wanted to tell me so much, yet could never make it that much. I wanted to tell him so much. Maybe I will send him a letter. Obviously he knows where I live now, so it's not like I have to be wary about sending him another letter. 

I opened the letter and started reading it. I was amazed at what he told me.

__

(July 16th, 2020)

My Max - 

I woke up this morning and thought of so many things I could tell you. I miss you, and I know I said that before, but I miss you everyday that I go on without you. I love you, as well. I will tell you this every day, until you come home to me. I will wait for you with open arms, and an open heart.

Yesterday was hard to get through. I guess it's just the whole thing of you being gone. Bling came by, only to have me throw him out. He asked what was wrong and I just burst into tears. I finally told him what was wrong. I told him that you left, that was all I was able to choke out. You might wonder why I am telling you all of this. I want to be honest with you. I want to tell you everything that is happening in my life. I want you to feel as if you are a part of it, even if you are not here.

I have to tell you, even though you might have already guessed it. Asha has a thing for me. I guess it's obvious, but I want you know something. I never liked her, never. And I don't now. When you were gone at Manticore, and we all thought you were dead, even Bling said that I should go out on a date with her, just to get out, and to get me away from Eyes Only work. But I refused. I knew you were alive, even if I was the only one, and if it was only my heart. I know you had died, but my heart knew you were out there. 

Please Max, I have always stood (not literally) besides you, and I hope I have always given you your space that you needed. I need you Max, to go on, and I want you home so much. 

Your siblings have gotten in touch with me. Krit dropped by today, I guess because of the whole transgenic outbreak in Seattle; he wanted to see if I was ok. I don't think he knew you were alive. Did you ever get in touch with any of them to tell them that you were alive? I guess not, because he seemed surprised that you were actually alive. He wanted to see you, but then I told him that you were gone. I told him I didn't know where you were, which is true. I also told him about Zack. He seemed down about that, but he was glad he wasn't stuck in Manticore. He somehow had gotten wind that Manticore was gone awhile back, but he didn't know it was you who set it. He said he would get in touch with the rest of your sibs.

He told me some news too, Maxie. He had gotten in contact with Jace after you were taken back to Manticore. She told him about her situation and what you had done for her. They kept in touch. I'd like to tell you the news. You are an aunt, and have a beautiful niece, named Max. Krit gave me a pic. Also to tell you that Victor was there as well. I guess he got out, too. Krit said he will send his siblings to check in on me every once in awhile. He said that since you considered me your family, then I am the X-5's family as well.

I love you Max, baby, my Max. I will never stop loving you.

Lovingly yours,

Logan

I couldn't believe it. I had a niece. I had almost forgotten about all of my siblings. I guess with the whole transgenic thing this past year, it slipped my mind. I can't believe I let that happen. I spent ten years looking for them and then I forgot. I got mad at myself. How could I let that happen?

I was glad though, that Logan was being taken care of. That my siblings would check up on him, that Bling knew what to do when Logan got into a depression. I did realize that these were old, a month or two. But I didn't care. They were written by Logan, my Logan.

I then made a decision. I was going home. 

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Well, what do you think? Should I make it a painless ending; or should I have them get into some sort of turbulence. I kinda know how to end this, but I'm not completely sure. I hope you people can give me some suggestions. I also hope you all liked this chapter. I guess it gave me the hardest time. I mean, what do you write in a love letter (I wouldn't know, I'm not allowed to date)? Anyway I hope you liked it. If you want, you can e-mail me with suggestions:

darkangeleyes452@hotmail.com

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or my IM is

sportsgurl452

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ok then just remember: many reviews = a happy author, who is motivated by the reviews.

Oh yeah, who here liked last weeks DA?? I did, very cool. Except that Max came so very close to telling Logan about lying to him, and she was a bitchy and he was cold, otherwise it was almost perfect!


	10. Saying Goodbye

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disclaimer: Of course it's mine. I decide what happens to everyone. NM no I don't. If I did, Logan and Alec would walk around without any shirts on a lot of the time, the virus would be cured, and Max would get in touch with all her siblings, and Zack wouldn't try to kill Logan. Oh well.

summary: Max can't take the pressure of the virus and leaves. What happens when she comes home to Logan? M/L of course. What else would there be?

rating: PG-13

spoilers: Sometime during and after Season 2, as if anything after "Hello, Goodbye" never happened. 

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Ok, 3 new chapters all at once. It was one long chapter, but then it sort of didn't fit together so I had to split it up. I loved "Freak Nation." A bit predictable though. I am still thinking if I want to make it a painless ending or a not as nice, but still M/L ending. Depending on whether or not I want to finish this soon. Well, I have time to write for the next couple of days, cause no softball. Then I have a humoungus report due. But hey, I will not forget you guys. Happy reading.

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I made the decision. I was going home.

I quickly packed up my bags, but I didn't have that much stuff. I didn't read the rest of the letters, for I figured that I would be seeing Logan soon, and didn't need to read them. I still had my baby, my bike. I kept it in my apartment, under a sheet, to keep it clean. But I had to admit, I sometimes took it apart for old time's sakes. I loved it. I love the wind blowing through my hair as I rode, and I loved the feeling of being free.

I wanted to get home to Logan. I loved him, and wanted to get back to him. Fuck the virus, I just wanted to be able to see him. To look into his eyes, to fell his breath when he got to close for comfort. I had to admit that I loved those moments. I would soon pull away, because I didn't want him to die. That would be the hardest thing for me, to lose Logan.

I actually didn't leave Chicago until the morning. I wanted to say good-bye to Jessica and Sharon. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be going home to Logan. When I told them, they were very excited that I had finally solved my "family problems."

"Oh, Maxie, that is so good. I can't believe that you're going home to your man!" exclaimed Sharon as I went by the diner to quit and to say goodbye.

"Yeah, I'm going home," I answered, still in kind of a daze.

"What resolved everything?" asked the inquisitive Jessica.

"Oh, well, we somehow solved a lot of problems that were going about in our families," I answered, hoping they would buy my indirect answer. And to my relief, they did.

"Ok then, Maxie. Just make sure to keep in touch. We don't want to become what your boyfriend did, not hearing from you for months," Sharon said, gripping my shoulder.

"Yeah, don't push your memories of this place beneath the bed," Jessica laughed as she hugged me goodbye.

"Yeah Maxie, don't forget us," echoed Sharon as she finally hugged me.

"Don't worry, I won't," I laughed as I said goodbye for the last time.

I then left the diner, actually a bit saddened. I had made friends there. And I hoped that I wouldn't forget them as I somewhat did to my friends back in Seattle. I promised I would write, and this time I promise myself to keep that promise.

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	11. On The Way Home

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disclaimer, summary, spoilers, rating.look at previous chapters.

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Even though it took me about week to get here, I figure it won't take me as long to get home. I wasn't looking for anything in particular when I came here, so I took many detours and didn't go in a straight line. But with the combination of me knowing where I am going and sheer determination to get back home, I wanted to get there as soon as possible. Home, that sounded nice. 

~~~~~ 3-4 days later

I was lucky. I didn't run into any disturbances on my way here. There was a rainstorm, but what do you expect in the mountains in August? While crossing the Rockies, or what was left of them, there were afternoon showers a lot. But I hated the area, so I left soon. I didn't meet any Familiars; I think they disbanded after they learned an X-5 killed a familiar. They still roam around, but they don't band together to go around looking for transgenics. 

I made sure I had my bag with letters, always. I wanted to read them as soon as I got home, to Logan. Maybe read them with him, asking him for some explanations. I wanted him to be part of my life, and I promised myself that I would never leave him again. God, I sure make a whole lot of promises to myself these days. 

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	12. Finally There

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look at previous chapters

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I am finally home. I see Seattle in front of me. The space needle, god how I missed it. The height, the sheer beauty of being up there I forgot about. But there was no time for a reminiscing now. I could climb the needle later. Logan, I reminded myself, he'll want to know what happened to you, I told myself. 

The sector police didn't give me much trouble. I admit I had kept my Jam Pony sector pass when I left. I think Normal was in so much shock that he forgot to tell me to give it back. I smirked as I pulled it out, and I got by, no questions asked. I did notice a few cops looking at my baby though. I then thought, I would never give this thing up without a fight.

I soon made my way into Sector 9 and to Foggle Towers. Logan's penthouse light was on, I smiled as I used my vision and found he was sitting on his couch, writing. I wonder what he was writing about? I went into the parking garage, and saw Logan's Azteck there. I don't know why, but it made me smile. Everything seems to make me smile now.

I ran up the stairs, not waiting for the elevator. I hesitated when I came to his door, I wanted to knock, but I thought maybe I should surprise him, catch what he was writing. I silently picked the lock, hoping my skills hadn't faded over the few months I was gone. As I heard the lock give in, I started feeling wary about what I was about to do.

I crept quietly inside, hearing Silebus on his CD player. I remembered the dream we shared. No matter what he said, I know we shared that dream. I went as softly as I could to his living room, and saw him there. Suddenly he turned around, and shock embodied his face.

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Did you like it?? I hope you did. If there is anything wrong with it, you can either blame my spellcheck or Star Trek. I was watching TNG while writing this at midnight. I will write more soon! Please review, and if you have any suggestions, you can e-mail me at:

darkangeleyes452@hotmail.com

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or my IM is:

sportsgurl452

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ok then, more soon! Happy reading!


	13. Now I'm Home

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disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DARK ANGEL!!!! I really wish I did though. But how could I with the allowance I get? James Cameron probably makes more in a week than I'll get in my entire life. 

rating: PG - 13 (I guess, u decide)

summary: Max can't take the pressure of the virus and skips town. Now that she is back, will there be a load full of surprises?

spoilers/timeframe: Sometime during or after season 2, with nothing past "Hello, Goodbye." Maybe a bit of influence from other eps, but I don't think so.

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Hey people, thanks for the reviews. I hope you like this next chapter, though it' short. Please R & R! Happy reading!

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He turned around, and I could see the shock surrounding his face. He tried to speak, yet he couldn't. He just stayed where he was, trying to get his tongue untied enough to say hi to me, I guess. He suddenly stood up straight, for he had been leaning down to pick up something when I had walked in on him. He then smiled, one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen. It seemed to come across his entire face. I had forgotten how good he looked when he was happy. I hadn't seen him all that happy before I left. He seemed to be rooted on the spot, trying to get to me, I hope.

Finally I broke the silence when I couldn't stand it any longer. "Hey," I said quite subtly and softly, like I was trying to find the words to speak. I leaned against the doorframe, making sure I wouldn't fall down, because right now I was so scared that he would be mad at me, despite the smile.

"Hey yourself," he said right back at me, softly too. "I guess you got my letter."

"I guess you got mine," I said with a smirk, because I knew he had, obviously.

"Yeah, I did," he said, trying to do what we had done before, banter serious matters out until they weren't so serious anymore.

"I have to tell you something," I stated before he could even utter another word. "And please don't interrupt me before I end, because it's kinda hard me to say it all."

"Ok Max. I just have to say one thing before you do start," he said back to me. "Just let me say, that I missed you. I really missed you."

"I missed you too Logan. I only left because everything was so fucking hard for us!" I started out not yelling, but then it just worked its way up. "I didn't want to be around you because I was afraid I would kill you! I only wanted to make sure you wouldn't go and die on my ass cuz I infected you! I just wanted to make sure you were safe, and if that meant me leaving, I was willing to do that," I said, a bit more calmed down. "No please, let me continue," I said when Logan started to speak.

"I regretted everyday not calling you, not mailing that letter. I love you Logan, and I know you know that, because I said it before. I don't think I have said it enough though, and I want to tell you it forever. I'm sorry for every ounce of pain that I have caused you over the couple of years I have been in your life, especially for the past couple of months. I know that you can't completely forgive me, but I hope you can. I want to be with you, even if I can't be "with you." I know we have the virus between us and all, but I want to be with you forever, Logan. I don't care if we never find the cure, just as long as we get to be around each other."

"I just have one question," he stated after I had finished. After he had seen I had acknowledged his comment he went on. "Did you read all the letters I sent you?"

I was confused. What was to become of this question? "I got the one you sent to me after I sent you a letter. That was all. Were there more?" I asked, really confused now.

"Did you read all of it?" he asked with a hinting question in his voice. I could tell that, but I didn't know what he had up his sleeve.

"Some of it," I replied. "But not all of it. Why?" I asked that question, hoping to get an answer but instead, before I knew what he was doing, he had his lips pressed against mine, completely fusing my face with his.

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so what did u think of it? Yes I know I am cruel, and yes, I know it is a bit predictable. I might be able to write more in the next couple of days; it depends on my schedule. If you have any suggestions you can e-mail me at 

darkangeleyes452@hotmail.com

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or my IM is:

sportsgurl452

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please review! many reviews = happy author!


	14. Author's Note

Hey everyone - - - thank you so freakin much for reviewing my fic. I was so amazed at the response I got for this past chapter. I plan to write more, but I'm a bit busy right now. My softball team has our championship game on Saturday, if we win we get the BIG trophy. I hope to post on Saturday morning, if I can get the computer. I hope you all are liking this fic and are having fun reading it!!!!!!

~~~~ Lesley

If you have any suggestions you can leave a review or e-mail me at 

_darkangeleyes452@hotmail.com_

or my IM that I am usually on is 

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sportsgurl452

Thanx again.

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P.S.

DARK ANGEL HAS BEEN RENEWED FOR A THRID SEASON!!! YAY!!

Go to darkangelfan.com for a confirmation. I found out there. =D=D


	15. The Kiss

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DISCLAIMER: um yeah I don't own Dark Angel. If I did I would be fighting FOX all the way about them canceling Dark Angel for a Star Trek knockoff (hey I like Star Trek, and it is so like it, from what I have read about it). I am sure James Cameron is doing that, but he needs to fight harder! Click on my name up there and I have places you can write or e-mail to help get Dark Angel back on the air.

SUMMARY: Max left Seattle, now she is back. Is the virus cured? Or will Logan die? ( yeah I know I gave it away last chapter, but hey, I do suck at summaries lol)

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SPOILERS/TIMEFRAME: Sometime after S2; with basically nothing happening after "Hello, Goodbye."

RATING: I think its PG-13; they don't do anything bad, so I guess it's that.

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Um yeah, I had two softball games today so I'm sorry I didn't post earlier. I was only planning to have one, but then we lost (for the first time this season!) and so had to play again. But anyways, we won 1st, ad now I am posting. I think it sucks that fox took off Dark Angel AFTER they said it was renewed. That is just wrong, to play us like that. Ok well, happy reading, please review even if you hated it. LOL FEN 'NOS TOL!

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For a minute I just stood there, not really reacting to Logan kissing me. Then I came to my senses and forcefully pushed him back against the couch. What the hell was he doing?!

"LOGAN! What the fuck are you doing! The virus is still there you know! Just because I went away doesn't mean the virus went away!" I wasn't really angry, but scared now. He had better have a good reason for kissing me, because otherwise in about five seconds flat he would be breaking out in hives. 

"Max, Max, calm down baby. Why do you think I kissed you? I found a cure," He almost whispered, as if to make sure it was true. Kind of like he didn't want me ballistic on him.

"You found a cure?" I asked in disbelief. "But how? I thought there was no cure."

"After you left, I was heartbroken. But I had hope that you would come back one day. I knew you would come back one day. So I kept looking for a cure, because I wanted it for when you came back."

"Wow, just wow," I said after a moment of silence. "How did you know that it would work? What if it didn't work?"

"Well, I was almost sure it would work. I found it, right before you sent that letter to me. The scientist re-did the tests at least ten times. He was positive that it would work. I wrote you that I found a cure, I guess you didn't read that page," he answered, almost letting out a small laugh. "When you came through that door, and I saw you, all I wanted to do was kiss you."

"Really?" I asked mischievously. "But what if it didn't work?" I asked again, not letting up that question. I really did want to know what he would have done if it didn't work.

"Then I would have died the happiest man alive, in apocalyptic America or otherwise," He said, standing up and slowly coming towards me. "I would have had the most beautiful woman kissing me."

"Really? Then why don't you do what you wanted to do ever since I came in that door," I suggested, knowing he would do that.

"Gladly," he answered, closing the spaced between our bodies and faces, finally putting his lips tenderly on mine. He started to kiss me slowly and softly, as if I was to break. A far contrast from the first kiss. As if by their own accord I soon my hands wrapped around his neck, playfully toying with the hairs on his neck. His arms were wrapped around my waist, and were passing over my back. I soon initialized a firmer kiss, granting him entrance when his tongue was seeking it to my mouth. 

A few minutes later he pulled back, to catch his breath. I have to admit, even though I am an X-5 and can hold my breath up to five minutes; I was panting as well. That kiss was more than incredible. There isn't a word to describe it; it was that good. I looked up into his eyes, and they told me that he was thinking the same things.

"Max, I have wanted to do that for over a year. Almost two years, ever since I met you," he said, finally breaking the silence.

"Same here. Logan, that was incredible," I answered, still catching my breath.

"Come with me," he said taking my hand and leading me away from the living room.

"Where are we going?" I asked, even though I had an idea of what he was doing.

"I am going to make love to you," He answered simply, leading me into his bedroom and closing his door as he began to kiss me again

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Ok yeah, I don't do the whole NC-17 thingy. I hope I did well with that, cuz this is my first time trying to write out a makeout scene (I guess that's what it was). I hope you all liked it. ok I might not write for a week or so because I made a deal with my dad that I wouldn't curse for a week. And well, Dark Angel does have a lot of cursing. Whatever, just look for a new one next week at some point. Please R & R; reviews = happy author =)


	16. Waking Up

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DISCLAIMER: I don't own Dark Angel or any of the characters except for Sharon and Jessica. If ya wanna use them in your story be my guest. Um, yeah DARK ANGEL RULES and the fox execs are all out fuckin each other and they don't give a damn at what their viewers think!

SUMMARY: A few months ago Max left Seattle because of the pressure of the virus. Now she is back and the virus is gone. Can everything go back to the way it was?

RATING: PG-13

SPOILERS/TIMEFRAME: Nothing after "Hello, Goodbye." In this story Logan still has the exo because I always liked it. I don't know why, but I did so Logan still has to wear the exo to get around. Just to clear that up.

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I woke up the next morning to find myself in an unfamiliar place. I soon panicked where am I? What have I done? I thought that I had gone into heat and ended up at a one-night stand. And I felt someone behind me, all in this unfamiliar place. 

Then it hit me; I was at Logan's. I had come home. I suddenly remembered the kiss, the virus was gone, the other kisses, us in his bedroom. Logan was great last night, _everything_ worked perfectly. Even if he couldn't move his legs without his exo-skeleton, it was still great. 

Suddenly I heard him stirring behind me. "Hi Angel," he said as he awoke from his slumber. 

"Hey baby," I answered back with a huge smile on my face. This was the happiest that I had ever been. I turned around to look at him in the eyes. The dark pools of cerulean blue were filled with love and happiness and desire. I figured my eyes were the same. 

"Did you sleep well?" he asked with a little concern in his voice. 

"Better than ever," I answered as I shifted to get a little closer to him. "As I buried my head into his neck I said, "That was the best night that I ever had."

"Same here," he murmured against my hair as he kissed the top of my head. 

I shifted a bit more in the bed, and soon I was facing him. "Logan," I said. "As much as I would love to stay here for the rest of my life-"

"Then do stay here forever, my darling," he cut me off mid sentence.

"But Logan, I can't. Original Cindy will already lay the smackdown on my ass since I haven't been in touch with her for so long, but she'll be even madder that I didn't call her that I was coming home or that I was home."

"Fine then, Maxie. How about we go take a shower, and you can head over to Cindy's place while I make breakfast. Then you can have a breakfast fit for a queen when you get back," He suggested.

"Mmmmmm, sounds good. Going to whip me up a Cale culinary miracle?" I asked.

"Something like that. I can't spoil the surprise now can I?" he teased as I playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"Fine then," I said as I got out of the bed. I soon missed the warmth that came over me as I was next to Logan. "Come on, sleepy head. Let's g take that shower that you promised me." I said as I tugged him out of the bed. 

"You're beautiful," He stated a-matter-of-factly.

"And you are the most gorgeous guy that I have ever set eyes upon," I teased back.

"Oh, and how many would that be," He said with a mock-serious face on.

"Oh, there were so many, I lost track years ago," I squealed as Logan started to tickle me on the sides as we made our way into the bathroom.

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Sorry about the delay for the next chapter. And so sorry it was so short. Writer's block. I had a very busy weekend and so I didn't get a chance to write and publish this chapter until today. Thank God for three-day weekends.lol. I was also working on my Dark Angel website, which I know is a bit stupid because Dark Angel is now cancelled, but I have fun working on it. If there are any spelling errors or stuff like that, I was listening to the Dark Angel soundtrack while writing this so I was completely focusing. Newayz, I only have 9 more days of school so I should be able to work more then. Thanks for reading and the next chapter will be up sometime in the next week!


	17. Pondering on the way to Original Cindy's

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DISCLAIMER: none of these people or things belong to me. I just took the storyline they gave me and put a little twist to it. Please don't sue, me have no money. LOL

SUMMARY: Max left a few months ago because of the virus, now she is back. Can things go back to the way that they were? M/L of course, what else would there be?

RATING: PG-13

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SPOILERS/TIMEFRAME: basically after season 2 but nothing happening after "Hello, Goodbye." K then just to get that across.

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read and review!

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About three hours later I started heading over to Original Cindy's place. Logan and I had a few_ delays_ before I left. Lets just say that it ended up with us making out on the kitchen counter with all thoughts of breakfast gone out the penthouse window. After we had finally got to breakfast and had cleaned up I insisted that I go over to Cindy's. He made it hard to leave, but I finally got my will power up and left. Logan said that he had been keeping in touch with her and that she still had the same place that we shared before I left. I got onto my baby and started to drive over there. The whole way over there I was debating what I was going to say. I knew she was mad at me and most likely still was. I guess you could say that I was scared of what she might say.

As I got closer to the building where I use to live, a mountain of memories came flooding back as they did when I had gotten to Logan's penthouse the night before. I remember telling her that I was a genetically engineered test tube baby over a year ago. How she accepted me and didn't turn her back on me because I wasn't what many people would call "human." How she welcomed me home with wide-open arms after my three months or so at Manticore last summer. And she always accepted what I did and never asked too many questions.

My motorcycle came to a halt at the entrance to the building, I became very scared. I didn't know what she would say to me. I was scared that maybe she would not think of me the same way just because I left. Oh well, I guess I'll have to face her sometime and there is no time like the present.

As I got to her apartment door my head was swirling with the things that I could say to her. Would I just say hi? Or hello? Or What's up, I'm back in town? That would be a good surprise. Or here, what about this? He Cindy I am back in town. I got back last night. Sorry I didn't tell you but Logan and I were busy banging the gong. No, I don't think I'll do that. I could just she her face if I said that. But I don't know if she would be mad at me for not seeing her first or happy that Logan and I finally beat the virus bitch and banged the gong. 

I knocked at the door, not too hard, but hard enough for her to hear. I knew she wasn't at work today because today was Sunday. Even in post-apocalyptic Seattle people see Sunday as a day you don't have to go to work. I could hear a muffled "Coming," through the door and braced myself to see her. She then opened the door and the look on her face when she saw that it was I at the door was priceless. She just opened and closed her mouth like a fish trying to find the words to say something. Finally, I just got tired of her doing that and said,

"I'm back," and with that she gave me one of the biggest hugs possible..

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I had no homework tonight so I had time to write this =-). I hope you like it, and it is just a filler I guess. And sorry so short. All I could think of on short notice. More later about OC and all of her friends and maybe a bit more M/L shipperness too. Ok I will not deprive you of the M/L shipperness but it is taking a backseat for a few chaps, but it will always be there. Ok then review please!!!!!!!!! muchos gracias mi amigos (if I spelt it wrong sorry, I just always love saying that.lol!) More later this week!


	18. Yet another author's note....YAY!

Hey guysthanks for reviwing. I'm sorry for the lack of updates, but I have been really busy. I had graduation yesterday, and on Friday I had my graduation dinner/dance and then I went midnight bowling afterward and got up about 3 hrs before I had to go to graduation. I was very sad afterwards because many of my friends are going to different high schools than I am. Oh well, I'll try to update as soon as possible, but my muse has left me and is now vacationing in Jamaica (lol). I just can't think of anything. UmmmmmmI'll update when I can, specially since I have nothing to do this week. Don't leave me.please!!!!!! ok the Fen 'nos tol.

-Lesley (aliasangel452)

if ya wanna e-mail me its darkangeleyes452@hotmail.com and my IM is darkeyesonly452

and visit this site.please? http://darkangeleyes452.tripod.com =-) 

oh yeah, any suggestions I would really really appreciate, cuz I have no clue where this is going to go. I just kinda figured out that this story has no plot line.period. I need help!


	19. The 'Talk'

**DISCLAIMER: yes of course I own em.yeah fuckin right. Like anyone would believe me. If they were mine it wouldn't be cancelled. They belong to JC and Eglee. Fuck them all. HA**

RATING: PG-13; mostly for swearing and suggestions. 

SUMMARY: um, Max left town and now she is back. What happens and will her past come back to ahunt her?

SPOILERS/TIMEFRAME: An AU after "Hello, Goodbye."

an: sorry for the long wait. here's the next chapter. look below for a longer authors note. 

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"I'm back," and with that she gave me one of the biggest hugs possible.

"Max! You're back!" she said when she let go of me. It was nice to be back. 

"Yeah, I believe we have established that," I joked.

"Where the hell have you been girl? You've had Original Cindy worried outta her mind!"

"Before we get to all that, aren't you going to invite me in?" I asked, hoping that she would so I could tell her about what had happened. 

"Yeah yeah boo, come on in," she answered as she stepped aside to let me in. The apartment looked almost exactly the same. It was déjà vu all over again. It was like I hadn't been away a day, except for the fact that I knew that I had been gone for awhile. Everything was where I remembered where it was. 

"So where the hell have you been boo?" Cindy asked again as she sat down on the couch. I followed ensuit. 

" Cindy, I am so sorry I left like that. I just couldn't stand it anymore. The virus, Logan, the transgenic problem. I just wanted to live like a 'normal' girl, even though there really isn't anything normal these days. I wanted a life where I wasn't surrounded by people who wanted to kill me or were afraid of me."

"Max, that is who you are. And you were denying who you are. At least when you came back to Seattle you came to terms with who you really are," she answered, trying to get me to see another point. "Now don't tell me that it was fun being a "normal" girl for when you were away."

"No, it wasn't OC. Everyday I thought of Logan, you, Joshua, even Alec, and what you guys were doing, What I was missing out on. I missed you all so much." I said, lowering my head, tears starting to form. 

"Then why did you leave?" not leaving the subject alone.

"OC, I told you. Everything was just so hard!"

"I've known Max Guevera for a very long time. I refuse to believe that she would just give up on her problems like that. Sounds as if you were just running away."

It dawned on me that that was what had exactly happened. I ran away. For one of the first times in my life I simply gave up and left. The last time I did that it I regretted it so much. And I let myself do it again. How could I be so stupid!? "You're right. And I think that is one reason that I came home. I finally realized that I was running from problems that I had. But now I am back, and I am going to face those problems. Although a few have been solved already," I added on the end. I don't know if she caught my quick smile that quickly left my lips at her next question, trying to put a "game face" on. 

"Yeah, you are back. I want to hear why though. Don't get me wrong, I am probably one of the gladdest people to have you back, but what made you all of a sudden come back to this hellhole. And I betting it wasn't the scenery."

"Logan," was all I said as a smile came across my face and stayed there. 

"Logan?" she questioned. "So what did roller boy say to you that made you rush back here? Even after I had pleaded with you over the phone to come home a long time ago."

"I was tricked into sending him a letter by some girls back.back where I was. Soon after that he sent me a letter with everything he had written after I had left. I read themand it made me cry so much. I suddenly missed Logan, and you, and here, this godforsaken place, more than I had ever. So I packed up and left the next morning. And here I am," I rehashed, not letting on everything. 

"Now why do I get the feeling you're leaving out something? And I am sure that you wouldn't of sent that letter even those girls from where you were put a gun to your head and made you do it unless you really wanted to. Now tell O.C. that she is right," She finished with a cocky smile. 

I snorted and made a silent promise to myself never to leave again. How could I survived without Cindy's humor and jokes all along? That was still a mystery to me. "Well, I guess you are right. I wrote the letter to Logan, explaining some things. And he sent me the letters he had written when he found out that I had left," I started.

"Yeah I all ready know that girl, tell me something Original doesn't know," she said with mock impatience. 

"I'm just getting started. I got them a few weeks after I sent him the letter. I read the first two pages out of many. After I read the first one, I curled up and cried myself to sleep. I missed my home so much, and I was just realizing the fullness of it. I woke up later that night and read another letter from him. After I went through another round of tears I packed and was almost ready to leave. But I waited till the next morning, because I didn't want to jet on some people, even if I only knew them for a few months. I wasn't going to make that mistake again, because I was starting to realize how much it hurt people. After I said my good-byes, and formally quit my job, I rode non-stop for a week to get back here. I got back last night. I rode straight for Logan's. When I got there I surprised him, I guess. He just stood there for what seemed to be the longest time, and finally I broke the silence. I just started talking, saying how I knew the virus was between us and everything, but that I knew we could somehow work it out. And then, " I cut off, still reveling in everything. 

"And then he what Boo? I love the story and all, but you can't keep a girl hanging here," She said, somewhat pissed I had stopped.

"THEN," I started with exasperation; "he kissed me-"

"Wait, what about the virus bitch and everything?" O.C. cut me off, obviously impatient and willing me to finish the story. 

"Well, I was about to tell you when you interrupted me. Well, as I was saying, he kissed me, and it took me a few moments to realize what he was doing. I mean, it took me completely off guard. I pushed him away, and he asked if I had read his letters. He then said that he found a cure. It was the biggest thrill rush I have had in my life. I mean, the virus was gone. We could touch, kiss, and hold each other's hands, without killing him. "

"And bang the gong," Cindy put in, smiling at this good news I had just given her.

"Yeah, I guess we could. It was. incredible. The best sex I've ever had," I started laughing at Cindy's shocked face. 

"Damn girl, I didn't know that you would do it so fast. Well, congrats is all I gotta say because I am tired of seeing ya mope around because of the virus bitch."

"Thanks OC," I replied, knowing my best friend was truly happy for me. 

We talked for a few more hours, until I looked at the clock and realized it was around five o'clock. I told Original Cindy that I had to leave, and she completely understood. She said she would spread the word that her homegirl was back. I told her I had a few more people that I had to see today, because they had to know that I was back. "You mean Joshua, don't you?"

"Yeah I do. I want to see how he is doing. Everything was so hard for him before I left, and I want to see how he has been the past few months," I replied. 

"All right, but let me tell you, don't be surprised at how much he missed you. It broke my heart to see how badly he was holding up when I went to see him the first time."

"God, I never realized I was missed that much," I answered, genuinely shocked. 

"Well, you were boo, now go see dog-boy so he can stop missing you and giving everyone who visits him those sad puppy dog eyes."

"I will, " I said as I put my coat on, which was hanging up next to the door. "Thanks for everything O.C. I really appreciate it. And I mean everything."

"No problem Boo. I'm just glad that you finally got home. Now make sure you come and see me soon cuz we still got more to talk about."

"All right, I won't forget. I'll see ya later," I said as I walked out the door. 

"Bye boo," she replied as she shut the door. That sure was an interesting experience I thought as I made my way down the steps out into the late afternoon. I told Logan that I would be gone all day, so I hoped he wasn't worrying too much. I got on my bike and made my way to Joshua's place. I couldn't wait o the big fella. 

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HA! finally updated!!!!!!!!!! WOHOOO! Sorry about the wait everyone, if anyone is still reading this. You can blame it on me being busy (5 hours of practice a day), me not being able to get to my computer ~SNORTS~ yeah right. To tell ya the truth, I seriously was not able to write for a few months. The last time I updated was the day after my b-day, nearly two months ago. I just recently started writing original stories again. Maybe it was because of school, or summer withdrawel, or something. I was going through some turmoil, but I am somewhat over it now. I will try to start writing chapters again weekly, like I use to. Just depends if I can get myself to do it. I have all the time in the world on the computer, so it's not a question about if I have the time. But I promise I'll try as hard as possible. I guess you can thank the fact that I just watched AJBAC for the first time last week, and that opened up something. I dunno why, but now stories are flowing out. 

Oh and yeah, this is going to go somewheres. Only one other person knows what id going to happen in later chapters, but only because she gave me the idea and so I asked if I could could use it. All righty, I know I know. This story has had no plot line, but I promise it will have one!!!!!! And well, what can I say? It's my first time with fanfic. =-)

All righty then. Thanks for reading; and even though I have done nothing to deserve it could you pleaseplease, click the little button to the left of the screen and review. If you really want, just put "I liked it" or "I hated it" in it. At least I'll get a feel as to who actually reads this.

And if there is any confusion, I deleted the author's notes cuz they were bugging the hell outta me. So if things seem odd, just ignore it LOL. 

ALL RIGHT!!!! Thanks, and I'll have the next chap up sometime in the next week. 


	20. An Unexpected Twist

**ENJOY! **

-Vulcan-

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When I roared up to Joshua's place, nothing seemed out of place. The house was being ignored by others with problems of their own. At least no one was checking who lived there, because if they did, well, then we would have a problem on our hands, or specifically, my hands. I got off my bike in front of his domain, and I made my way up the steps, he didn't come running out like I thought he would, or peek out the window, or even acknoldge that he heard me come to see him. I didn't think anything about it, just thought maybe he was asleep, and it wasn't like he was expecting me. He still thought I was away, wherever it was where I told him I was going. 

But when I opened the door, and didn't see him anywhere as I looked around the house, I started getting worried. Where was he? I thought to myself. I looked out in the backyard, or what use to be the backyard, to see if he was out there. He wasn't out there either, and I was scared for him. What if he wandered out and someone saw him. There would be utter panic, or something like it. I didn't think the humans accepted the transgenics even in the months I was gone. From what I heard from Logan, and later from Original Cindy, it wasn't all that much different than when I first left. 

As I turned the corner into the kitchen, my worst fear was founded. I had found Joshua, but not the way I wanted to find him. He looked the same as when I had left him, except he had a terrored look on his face and fear in his eyes. He looked as if he had seen the dead, or something like it. 

Someone was standing over him, but his (I could tell that much) back was to me so I couldn't see whom. he had a gun drawn, and was pointing it toward Joshua, as if he had an intent to kill, but not until he had gotten information he wanted. When he saw Joshua's eyes dart over to where I was standing in the doorway, he suddenly turned around, and I hah to check myself not to look all that surprised, cuz I was sure as hell was. When he saw who I was, a sadistic smile crept over his face, and he levered his hand with the gun in it so it was now pointing at my chest, and said, 

"Hello, 452. Nice to see you again."

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Finally! I did a cliffhanger * ducks a rotten tomato thrown at her * Yeah, um, sorry for the wait, but school started! and some stuff before that. I was gonna upload before my vacation, but then ff.net wasn't working, and afterwards I kinda forgot. You can credit shaodwfox489 and a guilt trip getting to post this. My bff here was posting a chapter everyday to her Utopia:Genesis story (btw: READ IT IT'S GREAT!), and here I hadn't posted in a month and a half. So yeah, well, school started,and now is the first time in 4 days I've been on the comp, and I had an urge to write. So here I am. I can almost promise that I will post soon, but you never know what will be thrown my way that will stop me from writing (mainly.water poloand sophmore classes as a freshman.J ) Okies, I will post when I can!

-Vulcan- 

darkangeleyes452@hotmail.com

AIM: IamVulcanLady

oh P.S. here's all the legal crap I forgot at the beginning

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DISCLAIMER: Would you believe me if I said it was mine? All I am is a lowly high school freshman who yells "Seniors Suck" everytime I walk by their table J SO NO IT AIN'T MINE!

RATING: PG-13; mostly for swearing and suggestions. 

SUMMARY: um, Max left town and now she is back. What happens and will her past come back to haunt her?

SPOILERS/TIMEFRAME: An AU after "Hello, Goodbye."


	21. I Thought You Were Dead

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Have fun!

-Vulcan-

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'Hello, 452. Nice to see you again."

No, it couldn't be. It couldn't be who was there. I blinked my eyes, trying to see if this was a bad dream and hoped that I would wake up. Nope, no such luck. I could see Joshua, trying to position himself so he could jump on him. 

"No, Joshua," I heard myself saying. "You couldn't hurt him. He's to powerful." Where the hell was all this coming from? Yes, I did want Joshua to be safe, but I didn't think those words would be the ones coming out of my mouth. I figured more of 'What the hell? You're suppose to be dead!' type thing. But that was not it. I guess your mouth takes on a life of its own when everything you have believed for the past four or five months was just shattered, and one of your best friends is in danger. 

And finally I said it. "What the hell are you doing here! You're dead!" As lame as it sounded, it was the only thing I could say, I was that shocked. 

"Tsk, tsk, 452. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Don't call me 452. My name is Max!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever you want to believe. But that still doesn't deter from the fact you were made in a lab, and were born with the name 452."

He said those last words slowly, trying to show me what he thought of my life. Although I already knew that, because he had hunted me down every single moment of my life after I had escaped from Manticore the second time. He did everything to kill me, to break me, to kill my friends. He wasn't the one that should be calling me not human. He was the one who didn't even think his wife's life was precious enough to save. Tells you a lot about a person right then and there. 

"Hell, yeah, well you're the one who doesn't believe that your own flesh and blood's life is precious," I retorted back, trying to strike a nerve, which I believe I did when I saw his face.

"Where the hell did you take my son, you son of a bitch!" He yelled as he started to lunge at me, which I quickly dodged. But I hadn't fought in forever, I can't remember when the last time was when I threw a punch * Two months ago when some bitch tried to steal your bike** * **a small voice in the back of my head told me. Oh yeah.. But I hadn't fought in two months, so I wasn't quick enough, and he caught some of my shoulder and brought me down with him, and the last thing I remember is the _clunk_ I heard as I hit the side of the stove, and fell into blackness. 

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Yada Yada Yada. Yes, I am guessing by now that we all know whom the mysterious man is. But if ya don't well, then you will hafta wait another week or so to figure it out. But anyone who can tell me correctly who it is, and whomever has the cleverest idea for how he came back to life, they will get a special little present, courtesy of the Vulcans on the Vulcan homeworld (OK I am watching Star Trek at the momento :) So yeah, how'd ya like it? Just R&R please, all ya need to say is "I liked it" or "I hated it." K dudes, til next time!

-Vulcan-

U8mySillyPutty@go.com or Aim: IAmVulcanLady

Legal Crap:

****

DISCLAIMER: I'm just a lowly high school 9th grade deliquent (well, most of that is true) LOL. Me. Have. No. Money. Me. No. Own. Dark. Angel. OK?!

RATING: PG-13; mostly for swearing and suggestions. 

SUMMARY: um, Max left town and now she is back. What happens when her past comes back to haunt her?

SPOILERS/TIMEFRAME: An AU after "Hello, Goodbye."


End file.
